Guidance for Youth and Teens
This article was originally written for a teen girl who was just coming out of foster care.
If you have a teenager who doesn’t understand why it matters to develop self-control or good ethics, then maybe this will be helpful for them as well.
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What it means to have self-mastery…
If you make a promise, you can keep it.
If someone offers drugs, you have the strength to say “not for me, I’m good”.
If someone breaks your heart, you can take the time to give yourself “self care” and recover slowly (without doing something stupid while you are hurting).
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Q: Why is self-mastery important?
A: If you can’t control your own self, then how can you control your life?
If you are not able to control yourself, then it sends loud and clear messages to other people that you are weak. When other people see weakness, it is their human nature to take advantage, or control the person who is weak.
If you are weak, you will set yourself up for a lifetime of unhappiness, chaos, problems, and being a target for others to control you.
Self-mastery creates a great feeling of accomplishment.
Feelings of accomplishment will increase your self-esteem and give you the courage to try even harder things. The more you achieve through self-mastery, the easier it will get for you to try other stuff. You will feel less fear, and have more confidence.
People who are self-mastered will attract opportunities. When you are self-mastered, others will see that you are in control of yourself, then they will trust you with important things like; jobs, partnerships, scholarships, material possessions, money, managing other people… The list of possibilities is endless.
A person who is self-mastered is like a walking billboard that says:
“YOU CAN COUNT ON ME.
I AM TRUSTWORTHY,
STRONG AND DEPENDABLE”.
The pain of NOT being self-mastered
People who have NOT mastered themselves will actually turn away opportunities that were intended for them.
If a store owner needs to hire a new cashier, he may be considering that friendly girl that comes in every day to buy something. But what if he sees her come in on a Friday night and she is drunk? She might be friendly and talkative. She might THINK that it’s no big deal and no one cares… after all, it’s FRIDAY NIGHT!!
But she should think again. Because that store owner has just reconsidered his idea to hire her. He sees that she is out of control and hangs around with partiers. He wonders why she is so unhappy that she needs to drink so much. He will then try to think of other people he can hire instead of her.
So there’s an opportunity missed that you will never even know about.
. . . . . . . . . . . .
The disappointment of not being able to rely on yourself
If you’ve had a lot of disappointment in your life, then you probably know how painful it is when someone lets you down.
If you are not self-mastered then you are probably missing the mark on a lot of things that you “meant to do”. If this is the case, then you are disappointing at least two people… one is the person that is counting on you …and the other is yourself.
If you don’t like the pain of disappointment, then you can change things. You can become the kind of person that will always be there for you. Learn to be a stand-up friend to yourself through self-mastery. Learn how to do whatever it takes, to be the one person that you can count on. It’s worth the effort because you are stuck with yourself until the last breath you take. You may as well do a bit of work while you are young so that you can enjoy the journey as you move through life.
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